For those who seek to understand it, death is a highly creative force. The highest
spiritual values of life can originate from the thought and study of death.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross 1926–2004
A Higher Power
My experience has taught me that only our spirituality can help us explain the unexplainable. When we experience something as terrible as losing our Only, we question our beliefs and may come to doubt the god or higher power we believe in. But instead of giving in to that doubt, we can open our hearts and take the opportunity to expand and strengthen our belief system. This can become an unexpected gift from those that have passed on.
BELIEF SYSTEMS
The loss of a child is indescribably painful no matter your religion. I believe in the existence of a god, a higher power, something bigger than we can see, but this book is not aimed at followers of any particular belief system. Spiritual beliefs are intensely personal, but I hope to speak to the spiritual core shared by followers of all faiths.
Our family embraced spirituality. We lived in lots of different places, so we attended churches of many denominations and took part in all kinds of religious celebrations with families of other faiths. I wanted my son to be accepting of all people and beliefs.
One day in the car, where so many long conversations take place, Levi asked what religion we were. I told him that his father and I were sure that a single religion does not hold the entire truth, but that we believed in a higher power and in guardian angels. Our spirituality, I explained to Levi, was based on three simple tenets:
Be the best person you can be. Do no harm to anyone or anything. Leave this world a better place for your being here.
Helping Hands and Hearts
All the planning and preparation we do in life means nothing if the universe has a different plan for us. Of course there’s nothing wrong with making plans of our own, but events like the death of a child remind us that we are not in complete control.
We can fight the flow of life, wasting energy asking, “What if?” Or we can listen to our intuition, and let it guide us from within. Where does this intuition come from? According to my beliefs, we are all part of a larger system, a spiritual family that will support and guide us if we let them. I believe that intuition is spiritual guidance from God and our guardian angels, including our loved ones who have already passed on.
GUARDIAN ANGELS
I believe that we are watched over by two sorts of guardian angels. Earth angels are the special people in your life that support you unconditionally, even in your darkest moments. Heavenly angels are your spiritual guides. !eir encouragement manifests itself as your intuition, and they carry you when you don’t have the energy to think. I believe
that these spiritual guides include all those that have passed on before us, like our grandparents, our parents, our friends, even our pets.
The only way I found to survive the terrible shift in my reality when Levi died was to ask for help from my higher power and my angels. I thank all of them every day for the guidance they give me. Of course, it hasn’t always been easy, and there have been many lessons I’ve had to learn. I had to open my heart and listen so I could walk this path.
My faith was helped by the fact that in the days that followed Levi’s death, many things happened that seem amazing with hindsight and which have confirmed my faith in the spiritual world.
Whatever you choose to call them, there are people in your life who emerge at these most devastating times. They hold your hand, offer you their shoulder, and give their silent, unconditional support as well as much-needed practical help. These are the people you know you will be able to turn to as you move through the grief process.
Thank you for your interest in Losing Your Only, by Dr Debi Yohn. This is a very personal story which helped Dr Yohn discover her purpose – to motivate and support parents and others to live life to their highest potential. The digit version of the book is currently available at http://losingyouronly.com/get-the-book/. If you would like to be notified about the upcoming print and audio release, please visit this page and send Dr Debi your name and email address.
A Comment From Dr Debi Yohn About Losing Your Only
My current book, Losing Your Only is written to the Parents or Loved Ones that have lost an only child. This book is written from my own personal experience. When my only child was killed in a car accident, my life took a different path. I was living in Shanghai China. He was going to college in USA. In my grief, I discovered that my purpose is to motivate, and support parents and all clients live to their life potential. Losing a child is horrific, losing an only child brings it up a notch. So what do we do with that kind of experience? We have decisions to make. We can live or we can die with the child. I decided not only to live, but to thrive.
About Dr Debi Yohn
Dr. Debi Yohn is an international psychologist, author and speaker with 32 years experience living and working on 3 continents. Her work has taken her to Saudi Arabia for 7 years and Shanghai, China for 8 years. While in Shanghai, she founded “Lifeline Shanghai” a “911” service to help English speakers in need. She currently lives fulltime in Huatulco, Mexico and travels the world working with her clients, writing and managing her diversified business and charitable interests. To read Dr Debi’s full bio, visit http://bookpromotionservices.com/2010/12/02/dr-debi-yohn-biography/
